Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
