Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
