yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
