Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
