took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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