addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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