So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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