I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
