Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize