Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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