dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
