Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
