let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
