This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
