remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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