the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
