wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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