Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
