It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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