I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize