Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We left the knife in your bed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
