Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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