Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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