A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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