You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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