you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
