I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
