I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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