We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
