so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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