p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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