His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
