She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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