They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
