i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
