all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You made out with two different species that night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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