dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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