The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
