I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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