i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
