I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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