I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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