if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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