Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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