it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
