I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
