we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
