I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Holy shit dude........stairs
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