woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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