Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize