Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
