I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
