420 ftw
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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