this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
