You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
