Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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